TMNT--Raph Hates Christmas
by DisneyBeatleTurtlefan94
Summary: A songfic inspired by a song that was sung in the 1978 classic holiday special- "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street" Sung by-none other than Oscar the Grouch! When I heard this song come on, I immediately thought, "...Raph." XD It's just so sarcastic and loathesome! COMPLETELY RAPH! ...Sorry, Raph. Enjoy!


Even though it was only a few days after Thanksgiving, the turtles always decked the halls of their sewer walls the day after Thanksgiving every year with the tradition in mind that the Christmas season just around the corner; and each turtle **loved** to prepare for it! Each turtle: except, of course...for Raphael.

He just never went for it: the lights, the tinsel, the holly..._bleh!_ Decorating was _not_ his favorite hobby. He just felt the grumpiest at Christmas; more grumpy than his _usual_ grumpy-ness. All the peace and good will: _phooey!_ If it only lasted this time of year-and not the whole year round, he thought that, well, then really how much good does it _really_ do? And it was just so..._happy._ All that cheer and joy just made Raph sick to his stomach!

"I mean, don't people realize that-sure, it's Christmas;" Raph mumbled to himself, "But crimes don't stop bein' committed just cuz Santy Claus an' Rudolph are at the mall!"

Usually, Raphael didn't really make much of a deal about it when his brothers started the decorating: really, he didn't. He would usually just walk in, grumble to himself, and then leave. But...this time was different. Whoever did it-whoever made the mistake of even _thinking_ of doing it-was certainly paying for it now. As Raphael was just about to leave, he reached a sudden stop. Looking at his bedroom door which he was just about to pass by, he stopped dead in his tracks-eyes blazing with fury, as he stared at the atrocity that was a Christmas wreath that which was loathingly hanging from his bedroom doorknob.

"WHA- WHO- _GRRRRR! _I- EHH...**DOORKNOB!** D'er...OF ALL THE, **ugh!** I OUGHTA-**OIY!...WHOEVER PUT THAT THERE'S GONNA BE AS DEAD AS-AS-"**

"A doorknob," Michelangelo giggled under his breath before Donatello elbowed him forcefully in the stomach as if to say, _'Shut up…__**now**__.'  
_  
After Raphael grabbed the wreath, slammed it into the ground, and stomped on it without mercy, he stormed out of his sewer home—slamming the door so forcefully as he left, all of the Christmas lights fell from the walls. Everybody just stared with disbelief; before each head turned slowly to face a very guilty-looking Michelangelo...

"What," Mikey shrugged as his cheeks blushed red, "I-I thought he'd like it."

As Raph made his way up to the surface a few minutes later, now sitting in his favorite "cooling-off" spot on the roof, he listened to his brothers laugh and sing as they were now heading to decorate _April's_ apartment (would the decorating conspiracy never **end?!**)

"_Humph_: I hope their Christmas trees get _termites…"_

(singing)  
"I can't think of anything that's dumber...  
To a guy like me... Christmas is a **bummer.**

"Beaming faces everywhere, happiness is in the air;  
I'm tellin' you, it isn't fair!  
I _hate_ Christmas!

"People loaded with good will, giving presents, what a thrill-  
That slushy nonsense makes me ill;  
I **hate** Christmas!

"I wish there was a holiday, oh yes- I really do:  
Instead of getting presents, they take presents back from you!  
Heh heh...

"Here comes Santa, girls and boys-  
So, who _needs_ that big red noise!  
I'll tell him where to put his toys:  
I _hate_ Christmas!

(spoken): "And if you want the truth, I ain't so crazy about Thanksgiving or Labor Day **either!"**

(singing): "Christmas carols to be sung, decorations to be hung-  
Oh, yeah? Well, I stick out my tongue!  
I **hate** Christmas!

"Christmas bells play loud and strong;  
Hurts my ears, all that ding dong!  
Besides, it goes on much too long-  
I **hate** Christmas!

"I'd rather have a holiday with a lot less joy and flash;  
With a lot less cheerful smiling, and a lot more dirty trash, yeah!

"Christmas Day is almost here  
When it's over, _then_ I cheer  
I'm glad it's only once a year  
"I **HATE** Christmas!

"…And whoever put that Christmas wreath on **MY **doorknob, **I say PHOOEY, AND BAH-HUMBUG!"**


End file.
